New Hopshire

Insecurities Ahoy and beer reviews

Corona Extra – Anheuser-Busch InBev

Welcome to the head to head review! We are all winners! Except for Corona. It will disapoint and haunt us for ever.

Scott: If you are like me, Corona holds a positive place in your mind. I never remember the taste, but I remember the beach parties and the lazy lounging with a clear bottled Corona (with lime) in my hands. I remember having the opportunity for a bud light, coors light and Corona at weddings and family functions and drinking the Corona like it was going out of business. I remember the rumors that our neighbors to the south pissed in it and that is why you need a lime (and that is why there will be a fucking wall). All of these memories have left me with a warm lime flavored feeling in my heart. It was time to destroy my youth.

Tim: Corona: At least it’s not Bud Light Lime. That was my thought the entire time I was drinking the beer. This isn’t the worst beer ever, and if it was a hotter day I would be enjoying the beer that much more. But it was a pleasant day. And I hated this beer.

So it finally happened, I am so far behind on my reviews that I am drinking at home and writing reviews. As Homer Simpson would say, “Okay, brain. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but let’s get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.” Now I drank some of these beers over a week ago, but no worries I took copious napkin notes:

(Yes I am drinking Miller Lite, shut up. It is fucking hot here, apparently Spring doesn’t exist anymore. Plus it’s a fine pilsner.)

With the advent of microbrews I just don’t get the opportunity to grab a Corona anymore (in fact I don’t think I have had one in a few years), no one brings them to parties and I am sure as shit not fucking ordering one in front of other men at the bar. So when the co-author of this blog and your’s truly decided that it would be cool to review baseline beers, I suggested Corona and let me tell you it is…eh…ok..i guess.

Alright so as a guy who drinks Miller Lite, I think I am in a good position to judge mediocre hot weather beers. Corona is exactly that. It is a warm weather beer that tastes like a shitty lager (which it is). I am sure they threw some hops in there, but who the fuck knows what kind and maybe there is some 6 row barley because it is super cheap. When you get to it though, the crowning achievement for the guys over at Corona (and any person who likes stuff when it tastes better) was adding the lime. The lime makes it different, the lime makes it palatable, the lime is the only fucking reason to pay an extra buck for it vs. ordering a similar tasting light beer.

Corona (w/lime, god help you if you don’t have limes) is a passable hot weather beer that will definitely hit the spot, but it would not be my preferred goto. If you are up for a trip down Nostalgia Lane (copyright 2016, SW) pick up a six pack of Corona and think of all the youthful drinking of your past, but if you want my advice, simply pick up a cheaper light beer from your youth, throw a lime in those fuckers and have the same experience.

So onto Corona Extra…

My younger brother had to buy me Corona for a road trip the summer after I finished HS. We asked him to buy Rolling Rock and Corona (we didn’t know any better) and he got us Rolling Rock and Corona Light. It was horrible, not that the Rolling Rock was a high benchmark. I thought that if we had gotten the correct beer it would have tasted so much better. That was a giant lie. No amount of changes to Corona could have made it better.

For the sake of this review we included limes in the beer. Thank god for small miracles. This is a summer beer, the warmer the weather the easier it is to drink. That’s the second time I’ve mentioned this because it is one of the only redeeming qualities of the beer. Scott was much more thorough than I was about this review. I don’t know what else to say. Corona isn’t a good beer. It’s not the worst beer. But it’s damn closer to the worst.

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